It’s in moments like these that I miss my camera. An iPhone is nice for capturing fleeting things, like smiles and gatherings of friends, but somehow it misses the solidity and depth of things that don’t change. Like the stone streets of Catalonia, or the perfection of an espresso masterfully designed by Italy centuries ago, and hasn’t had a need to change since. I find the permanence of these things beautiful. More welcoming, sometimes, than change.

We rented an apartment in Girona, Spain, to seep into the quiet streets and explore the medieval corners of Catalonia. Bike paths and cafes mingle under ancient city walls, which cast noble shadows over narrow lanes of boutiques and Michelin star restaurants. Girona was so much better than I expected! Not sure what to expect, really, but it couldn’t have been any better than this.

We spent four days in an apartment next to the river; some of us waking early to see the sunrise, some of us sleeping in; all of us loving the empanadas, pork platters, and giant piles of pastries for breakfast. I think Italy still wins when it comes to gelato, but Spain wins with its wine!

There were leafy squares hidden from the main road, where kids rode bikes, women sipped coffee surrounded by shopping bags, and men smoked cigarettes on benches with their friends. In the morning I woke up to browse the bakeries and watch the sun come up over the fortress, and it occurred to me that a forever home must have a place to walk, and a place to buy a perfect loaf of bread. And hopefully, be a place with the kind of memories that will bring my grown children home again.

Catalonia is fiercely proud of its identity as separate from Spain. To my outsider’s eyes it is a blend of french and spanish, high in the mountains and considering itself unique, just like border areas in strong nations all over the world. When you think about the concept of creating “borders,” it’s crazy that anyone ever managed to make them in the first place. Who gets to keep the mountains and the pretty parts? And who’s responsible for managing the bad ones? The North and the South, the East and the West, no one is ever happy. But as Spain slowly melts into France in this area of balmy Mediterranean weather, I can see why Catalonians have pride, and didn’t want to give this place up.

Even stranger, is learning that this is where Nathan and his girls go on vacation most summers… one more way that our lives overlap, even when we’re countries apart! We walked through the public markets, watched fisherman and ducks swimming in the canal, and bought oranges and greek yogurt that were the best we’ve ever tasted. We made the boys hike the city walls, despite great protest. Yes, we are those parents!

I tell myself that one day they’ll be grateful for all of this. I keep counting on that.