Sifting through memories of our amazing life together, it doesn’t seem possible that it’s only been 18 years! From babies to kids to teenagers, over four continents and 50 countries, lifetimes seem to have been lived on top of lifetimes, where after a tenuous beginning you were chosen by the grace of God to survive. The wound was definitely where the light came in. We had to play our ace in the hole early, and yet all these years later, every day with you feels like a day that I’m still winning ❤️.

There is nothing in this life for me that comes anywhere close to the amazing experience of being your Mom. The glitter of the oceans and the glorious mountain peaks at sunrise are flat, next to the soaring waves of everything we lived, grieved, loved, and survived in the 18 years of doing our best to get you ready for your lives.

It is crushing to think that in this solar system of a lifetime, our children are merely one of the millions of stars. To me, they are the bright power of the sun, the light of the universe, the breathing of the trees. They are the Masterpiece.

We parents are blips in the big picture. No matter how much we strive to stay necessary and meaningful, our purpose is to oversee the launch. Have I written enough love stories to my children? Sometimes, love only survives by sheer force of will, but loving them is like loving a string of pearls. Of Jake playing guitar, Eli singing the words to every song, a bedroom mess of blankets, banana peels, and bubble bath. Ice skating, DJ speakers, late night phone calls, making crepes and fried eggs, car drawings, basketball, sledding, selling wreaths at the Holiday bazaar, and going to the gym with their friends. The love story of my life is being a mother through all their glories and sorrows, and all the moments in between.

My wish for you is to be one of the ones who owns their gift, realizes their dreams, allows their simmer to come to a boil, and the smolder to burst into flame. Do not look for distractions from your life, but build and engage the one who have, and embrace the gift of quiet moments to be present, see, and feel each and every inch. Sometimes, the path less traveled by is as easy as just finding and following your own.

No matter how old you are, you are still my kids, and now that you’re grown up a little, it’s nice to know the world can’t hurt you quite the way it can when you’re small. We made it here to 18 years old, and I’m excited to see where you grow next! You are the beating of my heart, I’m changed forever because of you, and thankfully, I will never be the same.