On this seventeenth appearing to wish my kids a happy birthday, there is less occasion for an extended address than there was at the first. Then, a statement somewhat in detail of everything I loved about them seemed fitting and proper. Now, at the expiration of 17 years during which public declarations have been constantly called forth, they avoid my camera and don’t let me take pictures! But occasionally, I get a few good ones, and man, are these guys cute.

I’ve grown up watching other cultures who keep their children close for so much longer than we do. I know America is about pushing kids out of the nest to learn hard work and independence. But is this for the kids or the parents? Because in other countries, they don’t push them out, and neither the children or the parents seem to mind. They seem to actually love it, and to grow up with a strong sense of self, knowing there’s a place they always belong. I’m not sure I need to verify ahead of time that they’ll survive without me. Of course they will.

The myth is that teenagers are difficult, and that’s why they need to leave to find their own way in the world. The truth, so far, has been a different story, that they are funny and warm and loving and thoughtful, and I want them to stay forever. So I write this story as the truth that I know, which is not like the myth at all.

They will little note nor long remember what I say here, but they will never forget what they did in their 17th year of life. Lifeguarding, driver’s licenses, orchestra, Apple Pro, Mexico City, Steven’s Pass, shoveling snow, making breakfast, Lake Placid, riding lawnmowers, lifting at the gym, bacon, weekend regattas, Williamsburg, riding bikes to the Capitol at night, college tours, homecoming, New York City, seeing old friends, and making new ones. And the highlight, leading their high school rowing team to win the State Championship.

Wow, that was a fun day.

The story is that we’re still close, even with the changes of adolescence, but then life is always changing, isn’t it. We like to talk at dinner and share our days, and hopefully share our fears. We are not a family without faults but we are a family with humility, and I hope in the long run, this leaves some room for forgiveness.

So with malice toward none and charity for all, with firmness in the right as much as God gives us to see the right, we will strive to keep doing our best every day, and to achieve a lasting peace with whatever the future brings our way.

Happy Birthday Jake and Eli! Love you forever.